Yesterday I read a book on levitation. I couldn’t put it down.
—George Vander Weit
Between the couch and the glass-door cabinet there was just enough room to stack some pillows and blankets for our grandchildren who were staying overnight. Jonathon and Madison were having fun using them to make a mountain in front of the couch to climb, and then sliding over the arm of the couch into their “cave.”
“Grandma doesn’t think you should be doing that,” I said. “I don’t want you to break the glass and get hurt. It makes me nervous.”
“Grandma,” Jonathon replied, “maybe you should just go in the other room.”
—Donna Heuker
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the ark?”
“No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms?”
—Jean L. Washington
After a very moving rendition of the song “Please change my heart, Lord,” the congregation burst into laughter when our interim pastor stated that this was a very appropriate song for his last Sunday with us.
You see, he was scheduled for open heart surgery.
—Gordon Weima
“Hello, son,” said our daughter to her 2-year-old child.
“Hello, moon,” replied Matthew.
—Hermina Nauta
Boss to employee: I’m giving you a raise because I want your last week here to be a happy one.
—Dick Bylsma
One morning my 3-year-old daughter and I were home alone. I overheard her say, “Don’t you just love my hairband?”
To which I replied, “I do. It’s beautiful!”
“No, Mommy,” she said. “I’m talking to Jesus!”
—Willena van Donkersgoed
My daughter sent me this text: My apartment is now as cat hair-free as it ever will be. :)
I replied: What did you do?
She texted back: Vacuumed like Kuyper. Every square inch.
—Dianne Van Rooyen
One evening we were showing our granddaughter, Lacy, the old finger play we did as kids: “Here’s the church, here’s the steeple; open the doors, and see all the people!” Then came the next part, with fingers exposed: “Here’s the church, here’s the steeple; open the doors, and where are the people?” Lacy’s immediate response: “They’re on the roof!”
—Barb Miedema
Over supper one night, the grandchildren asked if we could speak to them in Dutch. Much laughter followed because they didn’t understand what we were saying.
Then the 4-year-old asked, “How do you laugh in Dutch?”
—Hilda Wiersma
A marketing guru walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. The waiter asks, “Shall I cut it into six or eight pieces?”
“Better make it eight,” says the guru. “I’m feeling pretty hungry right now.”
—John Veltkamp
A speaker addressing a large group of women asked, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
From the back of the room came a voice. “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.”
—Sue Lauritzen
