When my older brother called me on my 59th birthday, I said for once I was pleased to be younger than him, for he had always been first with the two-wheeled bicycle, then the car, then graduating from high school, and so on. But now he was in his 60s and I was not.
He thought for a moment and then responded, “You can always look to me like the canary in a coal mine!”
It was Easter Sunday and we had just finished watching the story of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. It ended with the Great Commission. Our 5-year-old grandson, Matthew, turned to his mother and exclaimed, “Isn’t that great? Someone should write it down!”
I don’t usually laugh out loud when reading death notices in the newspaper, but I did when I read the following sentence in the Holland Sentinal about a Michigan woman who died in her mid-80s: “She fought the good fight, she finished the race, and is now wearing her crown of riotousness.”
During communion, my then 5-year-old son asked me, "Mama, what is that red stuff?" I responded, "This is the blood of Jesus." He gave me a puzzled look. Shortly after the pastor blessed the wine, I partook. My son blurted out, "You drank Jesus' blood? Yuck!"
I was entertaining two of my great-granddaughters. They decided to play “store,” so I got a bunch of odds and ends together that they could purchase. I gave each of them a billfold and was giving each some money, when Kacie piped up, “Oh, we don’t need any money. We just need a card!”
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, “Thou shalt not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.”
—Clarence A. Wildeboer
While shopping with my almost-4-year-old granddaughter, I was in the fitting room of a store with her in her stroller beside me. Looking at the blouse I was trying on, I said aloud--more to myself than to her--”I don’t think Nanny is going to buy this blouse because the armholes are too big.” To which she responded, “Wait until you grow up, then you’ll fit into it!”
The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave him his awl.
I was reading a nightly devotional to my son, Sam. The verse was Philippians 2:14: “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Right after I read the verse, he said, “Mom, that is not the verse for me tonight!”
—Jennifer J. Schoenherr
When I went to get my driver’s license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and then commented to the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in the picture.”
The clerk looked at the man’s photo closely. “That’s OK,” she assured the man. “That’s how you’re going to look when the cops pull you over anyway!”