Heard a cute (unpublished) story lately? Run across a church bulletin blooper or holy faux pas? Any “out of the mouths of babes” epiphanies? Pass on the joy and send them to The Banner at editorial@thebanner.org (please include “humor” in the subject line).
No Kidding
In his sermon at the ordination service of an associate minister, our pastor reminded our new shepherd that preaching is central both to her work as a minister of the Word and to the life of the church. He compared the church’s sanctuary to a ship. “The pulpit,” he said, “is at the bow. It leads the church.” To emphasize this point, our pastor swung the moveable pulpit around. Seeing a note on the back--apparently for the first time—he commented, “Some churches have signs on their pulpits, ‘Sir, we would see Jesus.’ Here it says,” and he leaned closer to read, “Do not move the pulpit without first unplugging the microphone.” —Ryan Faber
Last year when our grandson was in first grade, he listened intently as his teacher told the children the story of the fall—how Adam and Eve were tempted by Satan and ate the apple. When she was finished, our grandson raised his hand and commented, “But teacher, it was good that Eve ate the apple.” Puzzled, his teacher asked him to explain. “Well, then Eve knew she had to put some clothes on.” —Jeni Hoekstra
Just Kidding?
A Sunday school teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. Occasionally she walked around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked about the picture. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.” —Bernie Velzen
Tom and Evelyn were sitting in their living room. It was eventide—not only the hour of the day but eventide in their lives also. Their memory was not what it once was. Tom said to Evelyn, “You know, I feel like a hot fudge sundae—why don’t you go in the kitchen and fix me one?” Then he added, “And you better write it down.” “No, no,” said Evelyn, as she hurried to the kitchen. “I can remember it.”
Tom heard her bustling around in the kitchen. It took her a while, but pretty soon she wemerged with a nice platterful of bacon and eggs. Tom grinned and said, “See, I told you to write it down. You forgot the toast.” —Vicki K. Peterson
As missionaries with Christian Reformed World Missions, my family and I were visiting Bethany Christian Reformed Church in Bellflower, Calif., one of our supporting churches, during our home service. The pastor of Bethany at the time, Rev. Dale Vander Veen, was sitting on the carpeted steps in front of the pulpit surrounded by about 30 eager children. Pastor Dale was explaining the work of missionaries and trying to draw the children to the conclusion that we are all missionaries. Finally Pastor Dale asked the children, “So girls and boys, how are Joel Hogan and I the same?” Immediately a little girl shot her hand up and excitedly said, “I know. I know.” With gusto she announced into the microphone, “You’re both bald!” —Joel Hogan
Bulletin Blunders
“Sunday worship will begin with personal medication.”
“Pray that the world will have more peas.”
“Needed: electric girdles for the pancake supper.”
“Anyone wishing more information on being baptized in the Holy Spit should contact the church office.”
