After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.”
“Well, thank you,” said the pastor, “but why?”
The boy replied with concern, “Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”
—Nancy Magnus
As the clerk of our church choir, I prepare the schedule of the Sundays we will sing, along with the titles of the songs to be sung. To add a little visual appeal, I include some clip art as well as an appropriate Bible verse. Imagine my surprise when Thea, our director of worship and choir pianist, called me to say, “Chuck, you made my day. I think you had better check the Bible verse written on the schedule.” I had written, “Exodus 15:21: Sing to the Lord, for he is highly exhausted.”
—Chuck Lindemulder
My friend told me that her dog, a family pet, had to be “put to sleep.” Her grandson dearly loved the big Labrador, and was inconsolable. His mother put him to bed that night and soon he was back, sobbing. This happened twice. The third time he got up and with a big smile, he said, “It’s all right, there are animals in heaven! The Bible says Jesus is coming back on a white horse!”
—Ellie Bazuin
Apastor purchased a boat and named it “Visitation.” The church secretary could then honestly answer questions as to the pastor’s whereabouts.
—Simon Holleman
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented, “These are very good! You must have a good camera.” He didn’t make any comment, but as he was leaving, he said, “That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots.”
—John Veltkamp
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away. “Logan, wait until we say our prayer,” his mother reminded him. “I don’t have to,” the little boy replied. “Of course you do,” his mother insisted, “we say a prayer before eating at our house.”
“That’s at our house,” Logan explained, “but this is Grandma’s and she knows how to cook.”
—John Pousma
Asecond-grade teacher asked her class to draw a picture of the nativity. One little boy drew a very complete picture, showing the manger, several angels, some sheep, a star, Joseph, Mary, baby Jesus, and a little fat man sitting in the corner. The teacher thought for some time and finally asked the little boy to come forward. She said, “You have a very nice picture, and I understand everything except this little fat man sitting in the corner. Who is he?”
The boy replied, “That’s round John Virgin.”
—Robert Lubbers
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her. Looking in her purse she commented, “Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are 20 $1 bills.”
“That’s right, Ma’am,” the boy replied. “The last time I found a lady’s purse she didn’t have change for a reward.”
—Joe Stravers
While picking up some groceries, a retiree noticed a woman with a girl about 3 years old in her shopping cart. When they passed by the bakery section, the little girl asked for a chocolate doughnut. Her mother replied, “No.” When the girl started to whine and fuss, the mother quietly said, “Now, Mary, we only have half the aisles left to go through. Don’t be upset. It won’t be long now.”
A short time later they came to the beverage aisle, and the little girl begged for root beer. When her mother told her she couldn’t have any, she began to cry and shout. “There, there, Mary,” the mother said, “we have only two more aisles to go and then we’ll be checking out.”
When they arrived at the checkout counter, the little girl clamored for gum that was displayed there and burst into a tantrum when her mother told her that no gum would be purchased. Again, the mother quietly said, “Mary, we’ll be through this checkout line in five minutes, and then you can go home and take a nice nap.”
The retiree followed the mother and child to the parking lot, where he stopped the woman and said, “I want you to know that I’m really impressed with how patient you are with your daughter Mary.”
The mother responded, “Oh, my daughter’s name is Alice. I’m Mary.”
—George Vander Weit
Got a funny joke or story or a photo of something related to the Reformed Christian life? Send it to The Banner and you might see it in print! You can email your contributions to editorial@thebanner.org or send them to 2850 Kalamazoo Ave. SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49560.
