Motherhood might be intuitive for some people. But it might also be a season of lost self-identity for many. Author Alli Worthington begins her book with the claim that “modern motherhood is broken.” Apart from the perpetual mom guilt of “not doing enough,” many mothers are burdened by expectations, and their emotional health suffers.
This book is more than a self-care guide for mothers. It applies the gospel of grace to help us realign our roles and priorities in motherhood. In the first three chapters, the author explains how society tends to impose a uniform purpose on mothers as if self-sacrifice is the ultimate goal. But even in the lives of our children, we mothers are only passers-by. The truth: “We carry a weight that God never intended us to carry.” Motherhood can indeed be challenging and transformative. It is a conduit of God’s work in a mother’s being.
The author takes a strength-based approach to help mothers discover their “superpower,” whether it is encouragement, steadiness, commitment, excellence, or joy. God has deposited these different gifts or traits in every mother. Instead of fixating on our weaknesses, mothers can focus on using their strengths when walking alongside their children. “Knowing your superpower helps you honor your unique personality.”
Chapters four to eight dispel five common myths about motherhood: self-sacrifice, obedience from children as evidence of good motherhood, anger management, overprotection, and “wonder woman” motherhood. Take the last myth, for example. If a mom is so competent and perfect that she never makes any mistakes, her children will miss important life lessons about resilience, tolerance, and empathy. Children need to know that even good people like their moms also make mistakes. How a mother practices self-compassion is a healthy witness to a child. A confident mother should be brave enough to let her children see her. Allowing for imperfection in life can prepare children for self-acceptance and more reliance on God.
The last six chapters of the book offer practical habits that help mothers thrive, such as setting baby steps for change and establishing boundaries for self-care. Wise and healthy motherhood happens at the speed of self-discovery and self-care. “Investing in yourself and your emotional health is the secret art of confidence in motherhood.”
Each chapter ends with a reflection and guided questions. This book can be a great resource for small group study on parenting and family life.
(Zondervan)
About the Author
Mary Li Ma is a member of Plymouth Heights CRC church in Grand Rapids, Mich. She holds a Ph.D. from Cornell University and now works as a research analyst for a national research center on education equity.