Practicing Civility in an Uncivil World

“Civility: formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech” (Oxford dictionary).

I’m afraid that this word has dropped out of many of our vocabularies, for behavior and speech today are often anything but polite or courteous. 

As I often do before writing this column, I read what others are saying.  While Richard Mouw’s book Uncommon Decency: Christian Civility in an Uncivil World has sat on my bookshelf for a couple of decades, I noticed that he recently revised this book. He explains why in the introduction. 

Mouw says that, when he first wrote the book, “I was thinking mainly about the incivility that was running wild on the international scene, especially insofar as religious differences seemed to be at the root of much of the mean-spiritedness: growing tensions—soon to be vicious warfare—between Muslims and Christians in Bosnia; Arabs versus Jews in the Middle East; Catholic versus Protestants in Northern Ireland.”

In his new edition, Mouw notes that incivility is now much closer to home:  “Bloggers sit daily at their keyboards to spew forth hatred. ‘Experts’ shout at each other on our 24/7 cable news channels.”

I don’t think we need a walk through the whole Bible to convince us that civility should be part of witness. Focus just on Galatians 5:  “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.”  While civility is not specifically mentioned, I believe words like forbearance (patience), gentleness, and self-control suggest civility is among the fruits of the Spirit.

My concerns are best demonstrated by asking two questions:  Are the fruits of the Spirit influencing our society today?  And what do we see within the Christian Reformed Church?

Maybe the Canadian approach to plurality results in greater civility – or maybe it’s just because the election season doesn’t drag on  – but it is clear that the civility barometer in the U.S. is dropping precipitously.  I don’t need to quote examples of the incivility that has been spewing forth in the presidential campaigning. 

Is it because society is becoming increasingly godless, as T.S. Eliot wrote in Choruses from ‘The Rock’?

But it seems that something has happened that has never happened before: though we know not just when, or why, or how, or where.
Men have left GOD not for other gods, they say, but for no God; and this has
never happened before
That men both deny gods and worship gods, professing first Reason,
And then Money, and Power, and what they call Life, or Race, or Dialectic.
The Church disowned, the tower overthrown, the bells upturned, what have we to do
But stand with empty hands and palms turned upwards
In an age which advances progressively backwards?

Are we standing with “empty hands and palms turned upwards,” shrugging our shoulders, admitting that the church has lost its voice and influence on society? 

Our Reformed understanding compels us to step into the public square, but we must find another way than by shouting back, complaining about certain candidates on our social media pages, or pretending we don’t hear the vile words because we secretly like the underlying messages.

It is time for more, not fewer, candidates to emerge from the church and seek public office.  It’s not about winning; it’s about demonstrating the fruits of the Spirit.

And what about civility within the CRC?  I subscribe to one CRC-related social media group and, while many seek the high road of civility, I’m amazed at how quickly words are used that convey superiority, harshness and anger. Is civility evident in our council rooms, classis meetings, at synod?

So, how are we to promote the practice of civility in an uncivil world? As Franklin Roosevelt once said “Peace, like charity, begins at home.”  If we practice civility in our homes and churches, we will be serving as Christ’s witnesses to the world.