In our senior retirement community there is a weekly vesper service. At a recent service the pastor titled her sermon "Biblical Napping." It was based on 1 Samuel 3 where Samuel was napping. At the close of the service, we sang "Open My Eyes.”

Ron ten Elshof

 

Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Their horns don't work.

R. Smit
 

The man’s beloved old convertible was in deplorable shape, but he refused to get rid of it. So when the old junker was stolen from his office parking lot, his family was delighted.

They called the police and filed an insurance claim.

Their relief was short-lived, however. Within an hour, an officer was on the phone.

“We found the car less than a mile away,” he said, trying to restrain his laughter. “It had a note on it that read, ‘Thanks anyway; we’d rather walk.’”

Marie Albers

 

I'm reading a great book about anti-gravity. It's really hard to put down!

Andrea De Boer

Matthew and I were watching a kids’ program on TV. At the end, Matthew asked, “Grandpa, is this a video or TV?”
I said it was TV. He replied, “I wish it was a video.” I responded, “Why, did you want to see something over again?”
“No,” he said. “I want to fast-forward to Dragon Tales.”

Ralph Slager

 

A boy and his dad were talking over possible use of the family car on Saturday after the boy’s successful completion of driver’s training and the issue of his license.

“That will be fine,” said the dad. “But first I want you to complete your homework and Bible memory work for the week—and get a haircut.”

On Saturday the young man stood expectantly before his dad.

“You didn’t get a haircut!” said his dad.

“But Dad, you know that Moses, Elijah, and Jesus all had long hair, right?”

“You know what else?” said his dad. “They all walked.”

Paul Bierens

 

An athlete suffered a serious injury and was not allowed to participate in any more games.

It left him feeling totally out of sports.

A. Whipple

 

Our grandson, 7 at the time, was learning all about recycling in school. Apparently the teacher told the students that the person in the school who did the best job of recycling would win an iPad.

Our grandson, very excited, came home and told his dad all about it.

His dad said, “Do you know what an iPad is, son?”

“Sure,” said our grandson. “That’s what a pirate wears over his eye!”

Linda Wichhart

 

The doorbell rang. When she opened it, the lady of the house discovered a worker, complete with a tool box.
“Ma’am,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.”

The woman exclaimed, “Why are you here? I didn’t send for a piano tuner!”

The piano tuner replied, “I know you didn’t, but your neighbors did.”

Jan Veltkamp