How Can I Convince My Married Children to Be Fruitful and Multiply?

My married kids don’t want to have children. To me, this is a self-centered decision. How can I convince them to be fruitful and multiply?

Decisions about starting a family, how many kids to have, or when to have them don’t involve a family vote. They are personal decisions that couples make prayerfully. Couples should prayerfully discern how they can honor God in all the decisions they make in their marriage, but as adults, they are free to make their own choices. Making comments or pestering them about their decisions isn’t helpful. You might not be happy with your children’s decisions, but it's not your place to interfere.

Instead of dismissing your kids as selfish, consider their reasons. Listen to your children’s concerns if they are willing to share. Let them express their thoughts without debating their perspective or questioning their choices. Perhaps they have career goals that don’t leave them time to devote to a family. Maybe the world seems too scary of a place to bring children into, or they don’t see themselves as parents. Maybe they want more time to enjoy their marriage before making a decision about having kids. If they’ll share, listen to their reasoning without judgment or debate.

Being upset with your kids won’t help. As Christians, our decisions shouldn’t be motivated by anger or fear, but instead by love and hope. While your heart might have wanted grandchildren, consider how you can use your time and energy to be fruitful in building God’s kingdom. Consider volunteering with kids in your church or community to be a grandparent to those needing connection.

Christians throughout the ages have served God faithfully regardless of whether they were married or had children. The apostle Paul did neither, and his efforts were fruitful. As Christians, we have a responsibility to share the good news of salvation, but this does not require having a family of one’s own. Your children can nurture the faith of others in many ways without having children. They might be excited about their opportunities to affect the lives of others through mentoring or service.